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February 2005
The Dark Side contains many thought-provoking
ideas. I have quoted directly from the book and highlighted some
of the essential ideas. Enjoy!
The
Dark Side of the Light Chasers
by Debbie Ford
Shadow - contains all the parts of ourselves
that we have tried to hide or deny. It contains those dark aspects
that we believe are not acceptable to our family, friends, and most
importantly, ourselves.
The shadow also holds the secret of change...holds
the essence of who we are. By facing these aspects of ourselves,
we become free to experience our glorious totality, the good and
the bad, the dark and the light.
We must forgive ourselves for being imperfect.
Because when we judge ourselves we automatically judge others. And
what we do to others, we also do to ourselves. The world is a mirror
of our internal selves. When we can accept ourselves, we forgive
ourselves; we automatically accept and forgive others.
What you don’t own, owns you....If I allowed
it to exist, I wouldn’t have to act it out. I would be able to use
it, instead of it using me.
It became clear that the process was not about
getting rid of things we dislike in ourselves, but about finding
the positive side of these aspects and integrating it into our lives.
We can’t have the full experience of the light
without knowing the dark. The dark side is the gatekeeper to true
freedom.
Embracing an aspect of yourself means loving
it - allowing it to coexist with all your other aspects, not making
it more or less than any other part of yourself.
The reason for doing shadow work is to become
whole. To end our suffering. To stop hiding ourselves from ourselves.
Within ourselves, we possess every trait and
its polar opposite, every human emotion and impulse....If you are
filled with fear you must go within and find your courage....It
is not until we fully embrace the dark that we can embrace the light.
The key is to understand that there is nothing
we can see or perceive that we are not....Being part of the holographic
world we are all that we see, all that we judge, all that we admire....Part
of the task of being fully human is to find love and compassion
for every aspect of ourselves.
If you don’t see yourself as a microcosm of the
entire universe you’ll continue to live your life as a separate
individual. You’ll look outward instead of inward for answers and
direction, and make judgments about what is good and what is bad.
You’ll maintain the illusion that you and I are not really connected.
Each aspect within us needs understanding and
compassion. If we are unwilling to give it to ourselves how can
we expect the world to give it to us? As we are, so is the universe.
You can look at what emotionally affects you
as a catalyst for growth, giving you an opportunity to reclaim a
hidden aspect of yourself.
Any desire of the heart is there for you to discover
and manifest. Whatever inspires you is an aspect of yourself. Be
precise about what you admire in someone and find that part in yourself.
denial = don’t even notice I am lying
Acknowledgment of our shadow self begins the
process of integration and healing.
If there is an aspect of ourselves that we don’t
accept, we’ll continually attract people in our lives who act out
that aspect.
To get past your ego and its defenses you need
to get quiet, be brave, and listen to your inner voices....When
you embrace the messages of each aspect of your shadow, you begin
to take back the power you’ve given to others and form a bond of
trust with your authentic self. The voices of your unembraced qualities,
when allowed into your consciousness, will bring you back into balance
and harmony with your natural rhythms.
“If you do not go within, you go without.” If
you take this message seriously, it can change your life. When you
go within and form a relationship with your entire being you begin
to recognize your ability to steer you life in the direction you
choose. There is no greater gift you can give yourself.
The power you need is there, but it will only
come out when your desire to change your life is stronger that your
desire to stay the same.
Taking responsibility means being able to say
to yourself, “I did that.” There’s a big difference between the
world doing things to you and your doing things to yourself. When
you take responsibility for the events in your life and for your
interpretation of these events, you step out of the world of a child
and into the world of an adult. By claiming responsibility for your
actions and your inaction, you give up the story line “why me?”
and turn it into “this happened to me because I needed to learn
a lesson this is part of my journey.”
As you become more conscious it will be increasingly
evident that it’s your responsibility to choose empowering interpretations.
Not only is it okay to say nice things about
ourselves, it’s imperative. We must recognize our gifts and our
talents. We must learn to appreciate and honor all that we do well.
Our anger often holds the key to opening our
hearts, and when released it allows all our vital life energy to
flow through us.
Our divinity and our passion are intertwined.
When we awaken our passion we awaken our divinity. We have learned
that passion is intended for external things, other people, other
places, other things. It’s time to unleash you passion for yourself.
Do for yourself what you would like someone to
do for you.
Questioning whether you’re on the right path
may sound easy. The difficult part is hearing the answer from the
heart. Your head will have one response, but your heart may have
another....If you choose to follow your passions and desires, then
you must be still enough to hear the answers from your soul....Are
your desires important enough to make you willing to face your fears?
Do you want it bad enough? The choice is yours....Our need to be
right, to feel safe, stands in our way of this commitment to life.
How can you have a true desire or a true goal
without a plan to achieve the goal? Without the commitment to do
whatever it takes to fulfill your goal, it most likely will never
come to fruition.
Face where you are at this moment and then move
to higher ground. Tell yourself the truth.
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