Body Mind Spirit Coaching

February 2005

The Dark Side contains many thought-provoking ideas. I have quoted directly from the book and highlighted some of the essential ideas. Enjoy!

The Dark Side of the Light Chasers
by Debbie Ford

Shadow - contains all the parts of ourselves that we have tried to hide or deny. It contains those dark aspects that we believe are not acceptable to our family, friends, and most importantly, ourselves.

The shadow also holds the secret of change...holds the essence of who we are. By facing these aspects of ourselves, we become free to experience our glorious totality, the good and the bad, the dark and the light.

We must forgive ourselves for being imperfect. Because when we judge ourselves we automatically judge others. And what we do to others, we also do to ourselves. The world is a mirror of our internal selves. When we can accept ourselves, we forgive ourselves; we automatically accept and forgive others.

What you don’t own, owns you....If I allowed it to exist, I wouldn’t have to act it out. I would be able to use it, instead of it using me.

It became clear that the process was not about getting rid of things we dislike in ourselves, but about finding the positive side of these aspects and integrating it into our lives.

We can’t have the full experience of the light without knowing the dark. The dark side is the gatekeeper to true freedom.

Embracing an aspect of yourself means loving it - allowing it to coexist with all your other aspects, not making it more or less than any other part of yourself.

The reason for doing shadow work is to become whole. To end our suffering. To stop hiding ourselves from ourselves.

Within ourselves, we possess every trait and its polar opposite, every human emotion and impulse....If you are filled with fear you must go within and find your courage....It is not until we fully embrace the dark that we can embrace the light.

The key is to understand that there is nothing we can see or perceive that we are not....Being part of the holographic world we are all that we see, all that we judge, all that we admire....Part of the task of being fully human is to find love and compassion for every aspect of ourselves.

If you don’t see yourself as a microcosm of the entire universe you’ll continue to live your life as a separate individual. You’ll look outward instead of inward for answers and direction, and make judgments about what is good and what is bad. You’ll maintain the illusion that you and I are not really connected.

Each aspect within us needs understanding and compassion. If we are unwilling to give it to ourselves how can we expect the world to give it to us? As we are, so is the universe.

You can look at what emotionally affects you as a catalyst for growth, giving you an opportunity to reclaim a hidden aspect of yourself.

Any desire of the heart is there for you to discover and manifest. Whatever inspires you is an aspect of yourself. Be precise about what you admire in someone and find that part in yourself.

denial = don’t even notice I am lying

Acknowledgment of our shadow self begins the process of integration and healing.

If there is an aspect of ourselves that we don’t accept, we’ll continually attract people in our lives who act out that aspect.

To get past your ego and its defenses you need to get quiet, be brave, and listen to your inner voices....When you embrace the messages of each aspect of your shadow, you begin to take back the power you’ve given to others and form a bond of trust with your authentic self. The voices of your unembraced qualities, when allowed into your consciousness, will bring you back into balance and harmony with your natural rhythms.

“If you do not go within, you go without.” If you take this message seriously, it can change your life. When you go within and form a relationship with your entire being you begin to recognize your ability to steer you life in the direction you choose. There is no greater gift you can give yourself.

The power you need is there, but it will only come out when your desire to change your life is stronger that your desire to stay the same.

Taking responsibility means being able to say to yourself, “I did that.” There’s a big difference between the world doing things to you and your doing things to yourself. When you take responsibility for the events in your life and for your interpretation of these events, you step out of the world of a child and into the world of an adult. By claiming responsibility for your actions and your inaction, you give up the story line “why me?” and turn it into “this happened to me because I needed to learn a lesson this is part of my journey.”

As you become more conscious it will be increasingly evident that it’s your responsibility to choose empowering interpretations.

Not only is it okay to say nice things about ourselves, it’s imperative. We must recognize our gifts and our talents. We must learn to appreciate and honor all that we do well.

Our anger often holds the key to opening our hearts, and when released it allows all our vital life energy to flow through us.

Our divinity and our passion are intertwined. When we awaken our passion we awaken our divinity. We have learned that passion is intended for external things, other people, other places, other things. It’s time to unleash you passion for yourself.

Do for yourself what you would like someone to do for you.

Questioning whether you’re on the right path may sound easy. The difficult part is hearing the answer from the heart. Your head will have one response, but your heart may have another....If you choose to follow your passions and desires, then you must be still enough to hear the answers from your soul....Are your desires important enough to make you willing to face your fears? Do you want it bad enough? The choice is yours....Our need to be right, to feel safe, stands in our way of this commitment to life.

How can you have a true desire or a true goal without a plan to achieve the goal? Without the commitment to do whatever it takes to fulfill your goal, it most likely will never come to fruition.

Face where you are at this moment and then move to higher ground. Tell yourself the truth.



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